Reverse
by Doll's.Stare
Summary: AU-on the night Ritsuka realises what being Loveless means, he is brought back into the past. And though he tries to let history continue how it should, he should know that ripples in a pond can carry over great distances.
1. Prologue: The Meaning of Loveless

**_This plot was born when I happened to come across a sketch of Ritsuka at seventeen years of age made by Kouga Yun. Nearly squeed the first time I saw it-I'm a sucker for girly looking guys, even if I laugh at them afterwards._**

**_The hair and eye colouring of the characters comes from the anime-I'm not actually sure if Ritsuka's eyes are violet in the manga. I've only read up to chapter 84, so I'm not quite up-to-date with what's happening in the manga. Also, since this story will be an AU, I will be twisting certain events epically out of cannon. (Hence why it's AU -.- )_**

**_The manga doesn't clarify how the spells that Sacrifices and Sentouki (I am calling Fighters by their original name, Sentouki) use work, beyond the fact that their words bring things into reality. I will be taking advantage of this lack of explanation-beware my own covoluted explanations for this. I'm also not sure if Sacrifices can fight without their Sentouki. I'm assuming they can, if maybe in more defensive styles, since Sentouki can fight without their Sacrifices. Example: Seimei. The education system at Seven Moons Academy was never expounded upon either, so I've made up their system for later chapters._**

**_If there will be any romantic pairings in this story, I will not go into a lot of detail for them. I don't write romance well. The Soubi-Ritsuka relationship is a bit confusing for me, since I'm pretty sure they're not in love (yet, Ritsuka's a bit young you know). Half the readers seem to think so though._**

**_Ah yes, I'm going to say sorry now for the bad grammar in this chapter. I'm experimenting with writing styles, and this style though fascinating is very difficult for me to use._**

**_Link to picture of seventeen year old Ritsuka: .com/threads/74266-A-picture-of-Ritsuka-at-age-17-(drawn-by-Yun-Kouga)/page7_**

**_I don't own Loveless. I'd kill to be able to draw that well though._**

**Edit 12/06/11: a-kun has pointed out that the verb tenses in this chapter are inconsistent. This chapter has been replaced by an re-edited version. Hopefully it is a little better, though I know I haven't fixed all the kinks yet.**

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><p>It is a windy autumn night when Ritsuka finally realises what it means to be 'Loveless'.<p>

Clad in plain blue pyjamas, raven black hair messily spread on the white pillow and large cat ears and slender tail limp, Ritsuka lies on the bed like a funeral corpse. Strangely enough, he feels almost like a corpse as well. He can't seem to pull up any emotions right at that moment—he is just tired, so tired, not physically but emotionally. Numb to the point that if he falls asleep, he thinks he might not wake up again (and that is a prospect that has terrified him ever since realising his original self before amnesia could wake up at any moment—right now he just doesn't have the energy to care though).

Perhaps it is because of the strange things that have happened to him since meeting his Sentouki (his brother's previous Sentouki, he reminds himself), Agatsuma Soubi. Or perhaps it is because of the discovery that his brother is in fact still alive. Or the realisation of the fact that Seimei does in fact have quite a cruel side to him—Ritsuka for all his social faults is a rather observant person. He has seen the way Soubi's face closes off at Semei's mere name, the way he shoots warning glances at Kio whenever the light haired teen mentions Seimei's cruel treatment of Soubi before his supposed 'death'. The way almost everyone who he has met that knew Seimei seemed to hold him in distaste. The cold attitude they described him to have—Ritsuka has closed his mind to such behaviour coming from his brother, but it doesn't mean that he has stopped listening.

He knows that others think his brother to be cruel and even arrogant. He just can't see that type of personality coming from _Seimei_—Seimei, the one who used to protect him from their mother's fits when he accidentally upset her, the one who helped him study, the one who washed his back for him, the one who comforted him when he doubted his own existence and both longed for and feared his original self before his amnesia coming back, wiping the current personality away like a drink spill on the kitchen table. His kind, mature, loving big brother, cruel? Abusive even?

After talking with him again and seeing the message his older brother left behind in Minami Ritsu's blood, yes, he can see it. He can see it and yet he can't, because his brother has never and will never treat him like that. Yet he does to others if he so chooses. Ritsuka is beginning to realise that both his view of Seimei and others' views of Seimei are probably all right, simply because Seimei sees others as a different class, not even human really. And the way humans treat animals is vastly different to that of treatment to other humans. Seimei claims that Ritsuka is the only other human in the world, his only equal. Therefore only he is shown Seimei's loving side. Everyone else Seimei regards as animals, and so he lets them see his...less pleasant side.

Not that this makes Ritsuka feel any better. Aside from the mere egotism such a mindset requires, cruelty is still cruelty after all, and Seimei hurt Soubi very badly. The empty expression the blonde wore after unwillingly helping Seimei escape said as much. There is bad history there, and the victim of it all is Soubi.

Maybe it is that—realisation on top of realisation on top of another one—maybe he is just tired out by discovering so many things. His life has been one near out of control rollercoaster lately, what with dealing with being the Sacrifice to a Sentouki his brother has given him, reluctantly participating in spell battles with barely any knowledge of what to do, and on top of that, his mother's treatment (abuse, but he shies away from that word) of him, school work, Yuiko and Shinonome-sensei's touching but at times irritating worry for him, and the continual worry that his original personality and self, before the amnesia, will wake up in the middle of this mess his life currently is.

Ritsuka is tired. Beyond tired. Emotionally drained, his psychologist might say. He wonders whether his life might have been easier if he had just ordered Soubi to stay away from him after their first meeting and spell battle. If his curiosity and need for answers hadn't been so strong during those first few days seeing each other.

A flash of guilt stabs through the apathy currently embracing him. The guilt gives way to a mixture of worry, affection and resentment, common emotions related to Soubi. Most confusing is the need he feels to stay close to Soubi, as if he fears that one day Soubi will simply vanish, despite the fact said blonde has already been ordered by his previous master (how he hates the word) to stay close to Ritsuka, despite the Sacrifice and Sentouki bond that winds between them as an intangible oddly coloured chain.

With some hesitation, Ritsuka closes his eyes and attempts to concentrate on the bond between them—not to summon Soubi (refuses to acknowledge that he wants to see the blonde), but just to reassure himself that Soubi is at his apartment and not outside getting into trouble again (case in point, his fight with the male Zero pair). He's a little worried, Soubi may be good at hiding things but Ritsuka is learning to discern when Soubi is sad or uneasy, and the blonde adult has been a mixture of these two emotions lately. Even Ritsuka's attempt to cheer him up by visiting and cooking for him (he is a little mortified he did this—he might as well have screamed his worry about the blonde to said man's face) didn't completely succeed, though he did wrangle some genuine smiles from twenty year old.

However, the genuine mirth of the visit could not completely hide the traces of bitterness in his own violet eyes when he brushed gentle fingers over the name 'Beloved' carved onto Soubi's neck. He never really could hide it, the bitterness. That, along with Soubi's believability in his eyes is a constant source of tension. He knows he has trust issues, half the reason he was previously so against having friends at first, and along with Soubi's tendency to keep secrets, he finds himself continuously questioning the truth of Soubi's words. And it hurts and at times frustrates the blonde, he knows, but he can't stop it.

(Some dark corner of his heart is almost pleased it hurts the blonde, just like the blonde hurts him by keeping secrets, and Ritsuka hates that part of himself so much because he is sure it wasn't there with his original personality, what he has heard of his original personality doesn't match up to that dark emotion, it definitely comes from his current personality.)

Add the fact that probably the whole reason Soubi is so tight-lipped about his past and Seimei's 'death' is because of Seimei, his brother, the original owner (again a word he hated) of Soubi, and Ritsuka is very bitter indeed. Soubi may guess that Ritsuka is a little bitter, but Ritsuka doubts Soubi is aware that the bitterness isn't just centred on Ritsuka's doubt of Soubi's honesty. He doubts Soubi knows that along with being grateful for having a connection to his brother, he is also irrationally bitter of the fact Soubi was once part of the unit Beloved. Because even if Soubi doesn't want to, and at the Seven Moons Academy he certainly didn't, he still has to obey Seimei.

"_Seimei is my God."_

That hurts. Not the fact that he won't always take orders from Ritsuka, just that in the end Soubi's loyalty is reluctantly still first to Seimei.

It is then Ritsuka realises. Surrounded by people and fading into the background, destined to fade away completely when his original personality comes back, his mother unable to stay too close to him for long without facing the fact her real son isn't with her currently yet, Seimei hiding somewhere despite Ritsuka's entreaties for him to stay and explain why he faked his death in the first place, and Soubi who keeps trying to develop a close bond with Ritsuka, but is unwilling to open up much about himself and is keeping important secrets from him...

This personality that will one day fade away is Loveless, and when his original self comes back, Loveless will be gone, and the popular original Ritsuka loved by everyone will once again take his place. There is nothing Loveless about that outgoing Ritsuka, but there is nothing to love about, well, nothing, and eventually that is what he, the other personality will become—nothing. And should he somehow survive the original Ritsuka taking this body again, wherever he, the other personality, is going after the original Ritsuka comes back, he is going alone.

He is Loveless, one without love. He is destined to be alone.

Loneliness threatens to swallow him, and Ritsuka wishes for his earlier apathy to come back and wrap itself around him, like the orange and yellow leaves one by one sticking to his window, gradually blocking out the world outside his bedroom. He blames Soubi for breaking his apathy, he always does this, always makes Ritsuka a mess of emotions. He hates it. Ritsuka grabs onto that frustration and clings to it, because frustration is less painful to bear with than loneliness, which hurts with the keenness of a sharpened knife. Closing violet eyes, he rolls over and falls asleep.

For once, he doesn't glance at the cell phone lying beside his pillow, not even when it beeps with Soubi's daily goodnight message. Because the realisation of what being Loveless means still lingers at the back of his mind, taunting him about how fruitless this continuing bond with Soubi is when eventually one will leave, destroying this bond. It's just a matter of who leaves first, Soubi should Seimei ever recall him, or him, the other Ritsuka, banished by the original personality.

XXX

It is a windy autumn night. Red, orange and yellow leaves swirl with the wind, dancing to a carefree tune only they can hear. They cavort merrily around town, above buildings and in parks, along the streets and in front of windows.

They dance even as the world around them fades, tangible objects changing from opaque to translucent, like holograms of themselves. The leaves dance even as objects begin disappearing, vanishing as if they were never there. And they dance even as the streets and buildings themselves begin to fade away, when the stars above begin to vanish, and only intangible darkness replaces it.

They dance even as the ethereal chain link around a twelve year old black haired boy and a twenty year old blonde adult snaps. The blonde vanishes without a trace, just like the buildings and streets vanish—still the leaves dance.

They are the only things left now, a dizzying storm of leaves that drift in nothingness, surrounding and falling on the remaining raven-haired boy, the only thing still existing. Some stick to the back of the boy as patches of blood begin to appear on the pyjama shirt he is wearing, specifically around the small of his back.

Eventually the storm of leaves calms. Darkness is replaced by towering trees, clumps of orange and red leaves clinging to half-bare branches. The floating leaves stop dancing and settle on the leaf covered ground. A thin layer of rustling leaves blankets the raven-haired boy protectively against the cold dew of an early morning.

Violet eyes open briefly, catching glimpses of the occasional leaf still floating around. Pre-dawn sunlight strikes off dew drops, blinding him with their temporary diamond brilliance. Wearily the eyes close, and the owner of those eyes sleeps again, dismissing the images as flashes of a dream.

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><p><strong>Please leave a review. Constructive criticism is appreciated.<strong>


	2. Chapter One: Reverse Reality

**Explanations within this chapter, may be boring but please bear with me, it will become more interesting as the story progresses. This is to set a foundation.**

**Thank you to a-kun for pointing out the mistakes in the previous chapter. I have replaced it with an edited version. Though it probably still has a lot of mistakes, please just keep pointing them out, and eventually I will be able to fix most of them. Same goes for this chapter and future chapters. Constructive criticism is good. :D Thanks also to promocat for her comment, it encouraged me to try and get this chapter out faster.**

**Please bear in mind I'm fairly busy most of the time, so updates for this will be slow. Also, I have used hair and eye colours from the anime again, but I have forgotten some of them e.g. Ritsu's hair colour. If I got it wrong this chapter please point it out, and I'm very sorry for it. Anyway, onto this chapter.**

**Edit 13/11/11: Thanks to a-kun for telling me Ritsu's eye colour.**

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><p>Cold green eyes observe the strange scene.<p>

A raven-haired boy only just on the cusp of puberty lies on the forest floor, black ears and slender tail occasionally shifting. Autumn leaves cover the boy haphazardly like a patchwork blanket of orange, yellow, red and purple, shifting occasionally to the cool morning breeze. He can discern behind the patchwork blanket that the boy is wearing loose plain blue garments—they almost look like...pyjamas.

He did not expect to come across this when searching for the source of the energy surge that happened a few hours ago. A potential threat to the school he could deal with—quite effectively. A runaway Academy student (though that hasn't happened since before him becoming a resident at Seven Moons Academy and the runaway had been half-insane from grief) he could deal with as well, knocking out serves well there.

A pyjama clad kid sleeping in the middle of a forest? How is he meant to deal with this?

"Oi, kid, wake up." He walks forward and shakes the kid's dew-damp shoulder. No response. He shakes the shoulder harder. Still no response. He checks the kid's pulse—it is strong and steady. Either this kid is a very deep sleeper, or unconscious.

He isn't into the habit of coddling kids—his cold demeanour isn't an act, he is not a kind person, and he is not one to just help some unknown kid (potential threat) who for whatever reason is sleeping in a forest during an especially chilly autumn season. However...

"Hn, you're a Sacrifice. But where is your Sentouki? Sentouki don't like leaving their Sacrifices...they shouldn't anyway..."

His expression darkens and then smooths back to its original cold neutrality. With a tiny sigh he crouches and picks up the black-haired boy, one arm under the boy's knees and another under the boy's back. The back of the pyjama shirt feels strangely stiff and rough, not at all like the soft texture of the rest of his pyjamas. He pauses in trying to lift the pre-teen up and rolls the boy over, finding a dark red stain on the back of the pyjama shirt. Curious, he pulls the shirt up.

Tracing over irritated red skin in dark, spidery thin letters, following the curved line of the spine at the small of the boy's back, is the name LOVELESS.

XXX

Leaves. He is watching leaves of varying colours as they twirl about to a slight breeze. Higher and higher, around and around and around, with pale, half-bare branches creating a strangely poignant background behind it. Beyond this background, as if someone cut out the drifting leaves and the looming branches and glued them onto another piece of paper, the soft purple-pink of a pre-dawn sky tinges all below it with a rosy glow. It is a beautiful picture, though the bareness of the branches leaves him feeling almost forlorn. He tries to raise a hand up, letting sentimentality get the best of him for once, but finds that he cannot move at all. And then the vision begins to fade away into darkness, and he realises that this vision is only a dream, though he could swear he'd seen this somewhere, his imagination isn't this detailed. Pushing that thought aside, he clings to the vision, trying to make it last longer—it is peaceful and soothing, a balm to the worry he's been carrying around lately.

Eventually the vision fades away to nothing. With a regretful sigh, Ritsuka opens his eyes.

He notices immediately that he isn't in his room. He isn't even in his house. He is in a large room, as large as half his house, the walls a stark white, beds evenly lining two opposite walls. The beds are neatly made, all except the one he occupies. Sunlight pours in cheerily from a large window located on the wall at the far end of the room. An open door sits to the right of the window, and another door just opposite the window is in a position so the aisle between the beds lining the wall leads straight to it. The air smells of disinfectant and everything looks very clean—it is almost like a much larger version of the sick bay at his school.

"Good morning," a voice, friendly and warm, speaks to him. A tall pale brunette woman appears from the open doorway near the window and approaches him, smiling.

"How are you feeling? Any headaches, nausea?" she questions. He shakes his head, bewildered, sits up, and winces as the skin on his back stings.

"Careful," the nurse warns a little late. "The skin over your lower back is tender right now, and will feel sensitive for the next few days. Don't do anything that requires stretching your back for the next few days until it stops feeling sore."

The nurse checks his back, feels his forehead, and sits back, satisfied. She looks directly at Ritsuka again—and the emotions in her eyes immediately have Ritsuka on guard. There is pity, there is sympathy, but most of all there is sadness.

"Do you remember why you were unconscious?" she asks him. Ritsuka blinks in bewilderment.

"I-I went to bed...where am I anyway?" his voice sharpens at the question, still polite, but at the same time almost demanding.

The nurse's eyes soften even further and she looks away, muttering something about trauma and repression. Ritsuka barely holds back a wince; those words are familiar, eerily familiar. They mirror the words of the doctor at the hospital when he spoke of the reasons why Ritsuka lost his memory.

Ritsuka frantically sifts through his memories, recalling all the people he is somewhat close to, all the things that have happened to him recently. He goes further back, pulling up memories of Seimei, all a little blurry as most memories become after the first few days after, but still there. He keeps trying to trace back his history, right until he reaches the block that is the amnesia hiding the real Ritsuka. He finds he can recall many of his (his, not the real Ritsuka's) experiences, so he turns questioning eyes to the nurse. The nurse is still eyeing him with that mixture of pity, sympathy and sadness, and it irks him. He reacts defensively.

"Where am I? How did I get here?" he almost snaps, only just remembering to take the bite out of his words. The nurse has taken care of him after all; he isn't going to be rude straight after she had done that.

The nurse raises an eyebrow, but lets the tone slide, he is stressed and doesn't know where he was, she'll accept that excuse.

"You're at...a special academy," she replied. "For people with certain talents. As for how you got here, one of our teachers found you in the forest early this morning and carried you back here." She pauses. "You really don't remember how you got into our school forest? Not at all?"

Ritsuka shakes his head. "I remember going to bed..."

The nurse frowns. "You didn't get into any...fights?"

Ritsuka shakes his head again, and the nurse purses her lips and mumbles. Ritsuka catches the words, "no head injury," and "traumatised," and works out that the nurse probably knows a little better than him how he got here, or at least what got him into this situation. Just as he is about to demand answers though, the door at the end of the aisle between the sick beds opens, and a tall blonde walks in.

Ritsuka blinks. Stares. And wonders if he is dreaming.

"Ah! Minami-san! I'm glad you're here, your charge just woke up," the nurse exclaims.

Ash blonde hair, thin, timelessly elegant features, cold expression. Yes the face is familiar. But he distinctly remembers this face with bandages around the eyes. He knows there should be no eyes in that face—he is very much aware that his brother is the cause for said lack of eyes.

This Minami Ritsu stares back at him with undamaged, cold green eyes.

XXX

In the brief time in which Ritsu takes the nurse aside to talk to her, Ritsuka comes to several general conclusions.

One: He is at Seven Moons Academy. Assuming of course, that Ritsu worked in Seven Moons Academy all his life, which Soubi implied with his curt answers to Ritsuka's questions.

Two: Soubi is not with him. In fact, he can't feel him at all, not like he could when he checked on their bond just before falling asleep. This disturbs him more than he'd like to admit.

Three: Ritsu must have had donated eyes surgically implanted into his face. That or some new technology has been discovered to regrow eyes. He isn't sure if they have been done or are possible, but it is the only explanation for the undamaged green eyes.

In an impressive display of composure, Ritsuka gathers up his emotions and locks them inside himself, stretching a thick layer of numbness above them, just like when his mother's screams and hits sometimes became too painful for him to pay full attention to. When Ritsu turns back to him, Ritsuka's face is impressively calm.

"The nurse says you have no memory of how you got here."

Green eyes observe him keenly for traces of lies. Ritsuka replies negatively and stares back. He straightens his back—and winces as the skin on his back stretches slightly. He frowns slightly, puzzled as to how his back could be in any way injured when he did nothing strenuous before falling asleep—it is just as puzzling as how he could end up at Seven Moons Academy.

"You were the one that found me, Minami-san?" he questions. At Ritsu's cool nod, he thanks the cold blonde for bringing him in. The blond waves a hand negligently.

"I did not bring you in for your sake, rather for the sake of school security. You were sleeping on school property. Normally you would be questioned and if found innocuous enough, you would be released and free to go back home. However, you are a rather special case."

There is a slight edge to the last sentence that has Ritsuka wary.

"Since you can't remember," and Ritsuka gets the distinct impression Ritsu thinks he is lying, "it seems pointless to ask again how you got here. Instead, I'll ask you _why_ you are here...Loveless."

There is a pause. Ritsu searches for signs of reaction on Ritsuka, but only finds silent bewilderment. Ritsuka wonders at the emphasis put on his Sacrifice name, as if it is important, as if the man had been hoping to encourage some sort of reaction out of him. Why would it? The man knows who he is after all (it seems every Fighter and Sacrifice pair Soubi and he come across know their shared name—of course, it doesn't help that most of them are sent to try and drag him to Seven Moons Academy).

Ritsu takes his continued silence a different way. Already sharp eyes narrow, wondering whether the boy's confusion is genuine. If it isn't, the boy is a very good liar. He tries to shock another reaction besides bewilderment from the boy.

"There is no use in keeping silent; you will be kept within the school until you tell me why you came here."

Continued silence. Indignation joins the bafflement on the boy's face.

"Your Sentouki will not rescue you. He is dead."

That got a reaction.

"WHAT?"

Ritsuka panics and tries to sense out his bond to Soubi again. Still nothing, just like before. Impossible. Soubi can't be dead. He saw the other just yesterday!

"Liar!" Ritsuka hisses back viciously. He puts his whole faith behind this, because if he believes otherwise, his world will shatter again, just like it did when Seimei died—when he faked his death.

A small part of him wonders how he has become so attached to the secretive, annoying, weird Soubi within these past few months, so attached that news of his death threatens to break him. He really shouldn't have let it grow to such a degree. He is not the real Ritsuka after all, eventually he will fade away and Soubi will have to work with the original Ritsuka, whose personality is far different and far friendlier than his.

_He is Loveless; he reminds himself, one without love. He is destined to be alone. Always remember, always, and he will (hopefully) not hurt so much when he is finally alone._

But he has let it happen, and now it could possibly burn him.

Ritsuka tosses the thought aside and straightens up in outrage—and winces when the skin on his back pulls again. He ignores it and turns furious eyes to the ash blonde man standing near his bedside.

"I'm not. Your markings were bleeding."

Confusion comes back. Ritsuka is thoroughly fed up with this.

"So what is that meant to mean? And why was it bleeding anyway?"

Ritsu actually looks at him with surprise. As if Ritsuka should already know this. He has seen that expression directed at him before—Midori and Ai looked at him the same way when he asked about the bond between Sacrifice and Sentouki.

"Markings bleed when one partner dies. You should already know this; it is one of the first things both the Sacrifice and Sentouki learn."

Ritsuka wants to snap back that the ash blonde man knows perfectly well (what with all the people Septimal Moon, which he is sure Ritsu is a part of judging from Soubi's frequent hedging of his questions, sent) that Ritsuka is rather new to this business of Sentouki and Sacrifice, and also working against the rules apparently, judging from most partners' disgust at Soubi becoming a Sentouki with a second Sacrifice. He wants to demand answers from Ritsu—_why is he at Seven Moons Academy, what markings is he talking about, what does them bleeding have anything to do with Soubi's supposed death which, by the way, he __**knows **__is a lie, why lie in the first place_—he is about to do exactly those actions, in that exact order, but is interrupted instead.

The door to this Academy's sick bay opens and another head pokes in, similar to what Ritsu had done almost an hour ago. This head though is much smaller, with short chin length blonde hair a few shades darker than Ritsu's own hair and small golden ears twitching atop it. Large innocent blue eyes peek out from a pale, fine-boned face. Most different from Ritsu though is the fact the head is located a much shorter distance from the floor than Ritsu's.

Ritsuka jerks back and gasps. He wonders if he is dreaming—or caught in an elaborate illusion of sorts, cast by another Sacrifice-Sentouki pair whilst he was asleep. They are the only explanations for this.

Take the straight blonde hair, the blue, violet tinged eyes, the fine features, compare it to the long blonde hair, the sharp yet similarly shaded blue-violet eyes and almost femininely delicate features of Soubi, and this child…this child, who looks no older than six, could be a chibi-Soubi. Or a son.

No. Just no. Impossible. Ritsuka pales at the thought. Soubi is too young to have a son! Then again, teenage pregnancies happen—no. NO. He doesn't want to contemplate Soubi keeping such a big secret from him.

Ritsu notes the stupefied shock on his temporary charge's face, the self-control over his emotions now completely gone. Curious and wary, he pretends not to have witnessed the pre-adolescent boy's reaction and addresses his other, permanent charge.

"Soubi-kun? Kikyo is looking for me again, I suppose?" Ritsu asks evenly. Soubi nods.

Ritsu sends Soubi off with a stalling message for his fellow member of staff while he further questions the raven-haired boy in the hospital bed.

"You recognise him."

There is no need to elaborate on who he is referring to.

Ritsuka shakes his head, feeling very disorientated. Soubi? Ritsuka is sure Soubi is not egotistical enough to name a son after himself. Soubi (his Soubi—he means the one part of the Loveless pair), to generalise the psychological problems Ritsuka suspects Soubi has, has some serious self-esteem issues. The startling similarities between child Soubi and the adult Soubi Ritsuka knows is a coincidence, just as their shared name is.

"No...But he looks so much like-"

Ritsuka cuts himself off and blinks. He clenches the sheet covering him and forces his disorientation to the back of his mind, trying to calm himself down. The dream he had just before waking up flashes through his mind, and he grasps the distraction, immersing himself in the serene, if inexplicably sad, image. Several moments pass. Finally, Ritsuka is able to look Ritsu in the eye with some measure of composure again.

"Who is he?" he asks.

Ritsu observes his pale face for a moment, eyes dagger sharp. Ritsuka forces himself not to fidget. Something changes in the ash blonde's expression—not a softening of emotions, but a flash of understanding appears in his eyes. It disappears just as quickly as it came, and Ritsuka is left feeling confused once again.

"He is Agatsuma Soubi, my ward."

Ritsuka stares at Ritsu. Nods. Says nothing else. The silence stretches between them for several minutes. Both stare at each other, the older reading, with limited success, the emotions of the younger; the younger wishing for the older male to go away.

Finally Ritsu breaks the staring contest. He excuses himself with a warning promise that he will come back later to finish their talk ("Don't bother trying to escape, the nurse will be watching you. Try and your next accommodations will not be so pleasant.") and makes to leave sick bay. At the doorway however, he pauses.

"You should know…that I really wasn't lying about your Sentouki." The voice is toneless, clinical. Ritsu walks away without a backward glance.

Ritsuka waits for several moments. Slowly, he brings his knees up to his chest. He encircles them with his arms and buries his face in them.

Only when his face is hidden does he let himself panic.

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><p><strong>Please leave a review. Constructive criticism is appreciated.<strong>


	3. Chapter Two: In the Other Direction

**Yes, I'm alive. I'm sorry for not updating for...five months. What?**

**As you can see, I'm not very time-conscious. My updates, I think I mentioned this somewhere before, are sporadic, and they will only get more so in the next year-I'm fairly busy with school assignments. Senior year in high school sucks. But that's me angsting, I'll move along so people can get to the story.**

**a-kun mentioned before that the link for the picture of Ritsuka at 17 doesn't work- thanks for the heads up! For those people who really want to see it, just type 'Aoyagi Ritsuka 17' into Google or whatever search engine you have and press enter. If you searched on Google, just click the first link-for other search engines, I don't know which, but the website I saw it on was on a forum on mangafox. Alternatively just type it into an image search-you know you have the right picture when you see an adult that looks like Ritsuka, shoulder length black hair, broad shoulders, buttonless coat, black and white picture.**

**Good grief, I still feel like squealing at seeing it-I need therapy.**

**Thank you as well for correcting Ritsu's eye colour, a-kun! I'll go back after this and fix it. And thank you to everyone who reviewed this chapter, reviews make this person very happy. Apologies if this chapter is a bit stilted-I wasn't quite sure how to convey Ritsuka's panic sincerely, so the chapter is a bit disjointed. And short. Next chapter will be longer, promise.**

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><p>Ritsuka stays in the same position for what feels like hours, knees bent to chest and face buried in thighs. He stays in that position until the skin on his back protests the position, pulling so taut he fears it will start bleeding again. His breathing comes hard and fast, and for few minutes all he can hear is his heartbeat pounding furiously in his ears. Or his headache. He doesn't know which.<p>

The nurse comes out while he is struggling with his panic and murmurs soothing words to him, phrases like, 'calm down,' and, 'it will be all right,' words which sail over his head like badly aimed throws. He cannot just calm down. He can't feel Soubi through their bond anymore, and he's double checked and triple checked while having a staring contest with Ritsu, their bond isn't there anymore. But Soubi can't be dead. He can't. Ritsuka refuses to believe it. The blonde baka will show up eventually because he always does, appearing at last minute when Ritsuka really needs him (and often when he doesn't). And when the blonde baka comes, Ritsuka will make him explain who the chibi-Soubi is, and why they look so similar. Soubi will also know how on earth Ritsuka managed to get to Seven Moons Academy-Soubi usually did have an explanation for strange events like this. Well, not quite like this, but for strange events. While Ritsuka's at it, he'll ask Soubi whether magic can regrow body parts as well, because seeing Ritsu with eyes exactly the same as his original pair is a little unsettling (though he is glad for the ash blonde man).

Babbling. He is mentally babbling, Ritsuka realises. Unacceptable.

He searches for a way to quell the panic threatening to overwhelm him, and acutely feels the tautness of the skin on his back. Ritsu mentioned markings- what markings?

Seizing onto this distraction, Ritsuka asks the nurse to point out the bathroom. The nurse eyes him warily, as if he is on the verge of a mental break down (the nurse probably has good reason, he realises, but the expression angers him still), but directs him to a side door. He enters, locks the door and stands in front of the mirror by the bathroom sink. He unbuttons his pyjama shirt and turns around, peering over his shoulder into the mirror.

He gasps.

At the small of his back, where the skin feels taut, spidery letters trace down his spine.

LOVELESS

His Sacrifice name has been validated. He doesn't know whether to be relieved about it, or upset. His Sacrifice name has been proven, no other Sacrifice-Sentouki couple can make him feel insecure about not having it, but he also doesn't want to be any more involved with this Sacrifice-Sentouki business than necessary. The appearance of his name basically cements that his life will never be normal.

Abruptly, Ritsu's words come back to him.

"_Markings bleed when one partner dies."_

No.

"_He is dead… I really wasn't lying about your Sentouki."_

No!

It isn't true! Soubi's 'Beloved' markings bled after spell battles. So Ritsu is lying, or mistaken- Ritsuka doesn't care which, but Soubi is definitely not dead. He isn't. He feels such relief at that realisation that his knees threaten to give out under him, and he has to cling to the sink to steady himself.

Suddenly, Ritsuka feels a lot calmer. Steadier. The world has righted itself in his head-however he has come to be at Seven Moons Academy, why he is here, who the chibi-Soubi is, he thinks he can probably face the answer to those questions with a relatively calm mind in comparison to a few minutes ago.

He ignores his conscience mocking him for his dependence on Soubi's existence. He can think about that later.

When he walks out of the bathroom, the nurse looks relieved. His regained steadiness shows, apparently.

While he waits for Ritsu to come back and finish his interrogation, Ritsuka checks his emotions and settles a familiar layer of numbness between himself and the world. He will not lose composure so badly in future (will not allow himself to be so weak and vulnerable again, not until he is alone and sure he is safe-that means not in front of Soubi either).

XXX

His resolution to keep his composure barely lasts two hours.

When Ritsu returns, Ritsuka remembers to ask for one small detail- the date. His mother will kill him (literally is quite possible) if he has gone missing for more than a few days without telling her.

Ritsu's reply is a recitation of the date. Day is just after the day he went to bed, month the same.

The year- fourteen years before the one he knows he went to bed on.

"Pardon?"

Irritation. Ritsu repeats his previous words. Ritsuka's jaw begins to loosen-he clenches it just in time to stop it dropping open. Ritsu catches the barely hidden shock. His eyes turn calculating.

"A lot more time has elapsed in your unconscious state than you guessed," he states. It isn't a question.

More time. Ritsuka holds back a hysterical laugh, barely. That was an understatement. Try fourteen years-in the _other_ direction.

XXX

The unit is small, made up of a foyer, living room and kitchenette (complete with mini-fridge and freezer) all joined into one big room. A small, plain dining table is placed in one corner of the room, a television is positioned to the centre of one wall, and in front of it, almost in the middle of the room, a dark red two-seater sofa is positioned. Closed doors around the room led into a medium sized bedroom with two beds and two closets, and another leads into a small bathroom. For all rooms but the bathroom, the walls are painted white, the floorboards under his feet dark and shiny.

It looks like a typical studio apartment. It is comfortable enough, if rather plain. Something he can easily fix.

He will eventually. After all, this will now be his home until he finishes schooling.

Ritsuka's mind boggles. Him. Schooling. At Seven Moons Academy. Where Soubi went to school at. _Will_ go to school at.

His mind boggles again. A regular occurrence over the past few hours. He barely knows what is going on. He is barely aware of what he is doing. He is exhausted by the realisations of the day, and by Ritsu's interrogation, of which he let his automatic defence to uncomfortable questions take over (he uses- used- will use?- this quite often to fend off Shinonome-sensei's questions). Thank goodness Ritsu hadn't asked for too many details, though Ritsuka knows he will probably be called up at a later date to be questioned in more detail. Ritsuka's impression of Ritsu is that of a cold, thorough man, he won't accept Ritsuka's vague answers for long. It was probably the near-vegetable state Ritsuka was in for his questioning that stopped him from asking more detailed questions.

Somehow, without Ritsuka actually remembering consenting to it, he finds himself enrolled as a student of Seven Moons Academy, with a studio apartment on the school campus to his name until he finishes his schooling and a school time table he is to follow in two weeks.

"A student will come by tomorrow to give you your textbooks and what not. I expect you to be at least decently caught up by the time you join the other students," Ritsu had said.

Ritsuka remembers nodding to his words then. Ritsu probably took that as consent for everything else. He really doesn't care. Ritsuka just wants to- sleep. Sleep and forget about everything. Maybe this is all a bizarre dream, and when he wakes up he will be back in his room, with his mobile on his bedside table. Perhaps there will even be a good morning message from Soubi. He sometimes sends them, but not often-Soubi is not a morning person. Adult-Soubi isn't, anway.

No. He isn't going there. Ritsuka refuses to think about it. More accurately, he doesn't have the energy to think about it at the moment.

Sleep. He'll sort everything out again tomorrow.

He locks the apartment door, walks into the bedroom, and collapses onto one of the beds. He is asleep before his head hits the pillow.

XXX

_"What's your name?"_

_"Ritsuka."_

_"No family name?"_

_A bitter snort. _

_"I'm Loveless. I'm destined to be alone. No, no family name."_

_No family. Not anymore. He is truly- alone now._

_"I need a family name."_

_"Why?"_

_"For the record."_

_He decides he doesn't care what record._

_"Fine."_

_A memory of bare branches, dancing leaves, trees towering into a pink dawn. _

_" Hayashi."_

_A dry snort. The other gets part of the pun._

_"Fine. You're Hayashi Ritsuka. Learn to respond to it from now on."_

_Ritsuka mentally buries the name Aoyagi Ritsuka. That person doesn't exist anymore-more accurately, won't for awhile. That confused person...is nothing. He is Hayashi Ritsuka now._

_He is Loveless, one without love, destined to be alone. And he will not be nothing here._

_In this strange time and place, he will make Hayashi Ritsuka into something unforgettable. _

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><p><strong>Hayashi means forest, I think.<strong>

**Please review. Constructive criticism is appreciated.**


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